Tutoring

Before I bore you with my ever-annoying thoughts, here is one fun fact: Simba has been selected to be an election officer at next year's General Election, and of course, there is no way for him to decline the "invitation". Hahahahahahaha! So you might just see him ushering people when you come to cast your votes in your neighbourhood next year!

My medical student is currently helping me more, as he's having a school term break. The girls in my office are anticipating to see him in person. Lol. A bunch of aunties lusting after a 22-year-old. Hahaha! :D

7 years as a tutor and I finally made my decision to quit the tuition centre... You might not know that teaching has started out tedious for me and till now it still drains me out of all my energy.

I have never been a great teacher and I know it best. Never once passionate about teaching, I don't envision tuition as a powerful tool in enriching anyone's knowledge, as my own tuition experience was a complete waste of time. 

Teaching was always a chore, and never once a joy when I first started out as a tutor; I was a really poor student and the only way to earn money in the shortest time is to make a kid listen to me for two hours. Inexperienced and young, I figured the best way for students to learn is to keep practicing and literally pray that the content will eventually be registered into the students' heads if they practiced hard enough. Although I took great efforts and pains to coach every student, I used the same method on them, and left the rest to God. Lol. I considered myself lucky when their grades improved.  When some don't, I told myself that there's nothing much I can do to help them if they don't help themselves. Complacent, I would never find fault with myself.

I think the leading reason that kept parents from dismissing me was that I was kind to their kids, never criticizing them no matter how slow-paced they were in learning, and I treated them as a mature friend. Because of this, they willingly helped me by trying harder than they used to.

Wisdom finally came to me along the way when I was tutoring for Joanna. She is the Korean kid that I always mention to my friends. She was Primary 2 back then when I first met her. That was also the time when she occasionally behaved and were other times out of control. As much as I want to deny, she's a brilliant kid, the most brilliant one out of those that I have taught. For many years, she perfected Math and scored full marks in every test and exam. She has been always the top few in her class, and was later transferred to a what we call a branded school in Singapore at the age of 10.

As she blossomed into a young pretty lady, she began to listen better, and I started to get better too, as she would encourage me by applying some vocabulary words I introduced to her into her essays, repeating back to me some grammar rules to abide by, remembering cheat steps to comprehend some words/facts better and doing the large amount of homework I left her every week. I began to explain more, leaving lesser time for her to do workbook. Part of the time spent in every lesson was for her to jot down the vocabulary words and learn them by heart. For the next lesson I would give her spelling and randomly select a definition, and she would have to spell out the word that matches this definition. Our painstaking efforts then began to exhibit returns. Okay, the first time she scored better could perhaps be attributed to luck, but she began to progress test after test, exam after exam, and soon enough we realized that this method was working. Quality over quantity - took me years to finally realize this concept.

Usually 2-3 weeks before her final exam, we would study for 3-4 hours (her mum will pay me for the extra hours) on weekends and we will go through all corrections from the past year papers she did. It was pretty intensive for a typical kid whose attention span should be by right way shorter but she is really not your typical kid; she can focus and listen very well. My expectations of her were sky high; I would tell her to behave and write like an adult and challenge her to think logically when writing essays. There should not be any juvenile stories and she should learn to give a strong opinion, back it up with substantial reasons and make a point in argumentative essays. 

In Science, she needs to be as explicit as she can, so that no marks will be lost from lack of clarity in the answers.

Joanna scored all A* for all her subjects for PSLE and her aggregate score was 257. She went to camps and interviews with the aim of enrolling in NUS High, and she was selected for enrolment after scoring them. Now she won't have to take O or A levels; she will undergo an IP program which will allow straight entry into university assuming that she does okay along the way.

I'm really proud of my little girl.

I was then asked to teach a few classes in a tuition centre, with 2-4 students per class. Life then became more complex; one kid running around the room is enough to drive me nuts, so imagine 3 kids now. It was triple the noise and the action. Time was mostly spent on getting them to sit and focus for awhile before they run wild again. I dreaded every lesson with these younger kids. Then... After plenty of failed experiments, I discovered that "death stare" is a foolproof method to get the kids to sit down. Haha! Always works like a charm!

I can't apply the same rule as the one I applied to Joanna anymore. I have less diligent students whose main enjoyment in their life was to idle the day away. This posed a huge challenge for me, especially when these students are in the same class with more industrious ones. How can I manage the pace of my lesson? 

I began to play favourites, something which I can't help. Naturally, pupils who are motivated appealed very much to me, so it only seemed justified to pat them on their backs more often and to encourage them to strive harder. But kids are intuitively truthful and have can detect your tendency to do something quickly; they would say you are unfair and that you love another kid more than them.

A very spoiled and emotional boy has been in my class for a year. He was a handful and really tested my patience. To be honest, I dreaded his presence mostly because he cried a lot, thinks he's very smart (frankly, he is far from it) and acts like a king. He would ask me to pick up the things he dropped (I won't of course as he really needs to buck up on his manners and respect for people). When he scored lesser marks than his friend he would cry. When his friends said something to challenge his lies (he would say those tall stories to seek my attention and impress me), he would burst into tears.

There was once he was so angry with his friend, he left the tuition centre and stood outside the classroom waiting for me to coax him to come back to class. I was indeed very mad so I ignored him for 20 minutes and flashed him a super buay song face before "inviting" him back into the room. 

Then he was sobbing so loudly on purpose to interrupt the lesson and invoked anger in me. I began overloading and forcing on him with all the values I believe in. 
"Why are you letting your emotions control you so much? How can you just think that you can do whatever you like and expect everyone to give in to you? You can't possibly think that everyone's lives revolve around you; you seriously need to change your attitude ..." I dunno how many hurtful remarks I have made but this kid seriously has some issues and needs someone to tell him what is seriously wrong with him, and that he's so flawed and needs to change for the better. 

He wiped away his tears and replied, pointing at his friend, "Do you know how I feel? He's always better than me in everything and he looks down on me. He laughed at me when I didn't do well..." Oh well, it was then I realized that the feeling of being inferior to others had made him this way. Perhaps I was too busy playing favourites I became blinded to the fact that his friend has been teasing him about his bad grades... Guilt sank in, and the tone of my voice became less harsh instantly...

Empathy... What I learnt as a teacher. Not every kid is brought up the same way as I was, and their behavior may be influenced by others' actions and something else upstream.. Be more empathic and observant, and give them the benefit of doubt. 

Praises are good, but don't praise all the time. 

I always give praises to a 14 year old kid with the right attitude, who always strives to do better than before. On his essays, I would almost never fail to write "Great effort!" and then I would reaffirm his effort with my words in class. Then one day, he said with a mildly formed smile on his face, "You always say that... :(" 

Positive reinforcement may seem like the way to go at least to me, but as I reflected on his words, I realized that maybe praising someone for everything that he does may seem superficial to him. 

Praises become small when I praise all the time in whichever way I say it, even though I meant them. Students don't know which effort deserves more appreciation than the other.

Treat a kid as an individual. As a teacher, I need to realize that everyone is enduringly different. The same method on every kid never works. The Madeline Hunter Method teaches teachers how to conduct a lesson in 7 steps and is known to "turn bumblers into geniuses". It has since influenced many in embracing these steps in their day-to-day teaching; however, many criticism was received afterwards, saying that it had treated teaching as science and a strict formula. Any attempt to impose "one best way" is doomed to fail.

A talkative kid will always interrupt you and you have to find ways to help him/her focus. For a quiet kid, you will need to encourage him/her to voice his/her opinions. 

You will need to go to great lengths to interest a lazy kid who listens to music throughout the class. 

Recently, boss and I have been reading a book entitled "First, Break all the Rules." (Ahem*, yes, I am erm "encouraged" to read it.) There was this insight that stood out to me, 
"People don't change that much. 
Don't waste time doing what was left out.
Try to draw out what was left in.
That is hard enough."
As a mentor, I have to recognize that change is slow, to induce a radical change in others can take months or years.

A good teacher is not just a teacher, he/she is an inspiration, a parent at times, and basically an entertainer that encompasses most parts.

I salute you, passionate school teachers! You have all my respect.:)

Felt the love from my student, Ki Hyeok.

Ki Hyeok hasn't been doing his homework, so I decided to call him during one of the weekdays to remind him to do them.

Then he began his attention seeking texts... 

I didn't understand the last msg he sent though. Why would you go to Raffles Place to uncover a quote? Weird.. Though I'm pretty glad that I just told him what a quote is and he picked up pretty fast.

I thank God that I didn't succumb to the temptation of applying to MOE (mainly because of its good remuneration), as teaching has been my non-talent, although it took me ages to realize it.

Whiskey

Whiskey and Pudding. Back to shelter.

5 months ago, we thought they found a home, together with Soda.

It was recently we received a call that the adopter wants to return them back to us, with excuses that they are always not home, and one of the daughters-in-law is about to give birth.

Soda was luckier; someone else wanted her, 

and she is now in a permanent home with her new family.

Went into this nice bungalow to visit Whiskey and Pudding, and the adopter told us she is willing to donate as much as she could to our organisation for as long as it takes for them to be adopted. When asked if she could wait till they find new fosterers, she insisted that they be sent back to the shelter that weekend.

What's heartbreaking is that they are caged up in an enclosure, there was almost no space to move a limb. They don't get to go on walks too.

Two maids, and none can walk them...

When we let them out of the enclosure, and beckoned them to come out of it, but they were so wary of us - they didn't want to. 

Lynnette lured them out using some dog treats eventually (it always works.)

Once I put a leash on Whiskey, he looked at me with such petrified eyes; he sensed imminent danger and quickly retreated when I reached out to pat him. It wasn't long before I could gain trust and hug this fat guy. He just followed my footsteps and pace, and when he walked too fast, I would shout his name and he would stop, turn around and look at me with a sad face.

Look at poor Whiskey looking abandoned & unsettled in the shelter.

:(

His surprised look was really cute; Simba and I laughed at this for few days.

I love Whiskey. He's so calm and quiet, and so sad that I really want to put him at my new place.

Again, Whiskey is too big to be adopted in HDB flats, so I think I will foster him if Brownie allows. 

Haha! Brownie's (Westland Terrier) owner is going for work overseas for a year, and would leave her in our care from next March onwards.

I hope that Brownie will allow Whiskey to stay in our house together, so that I can keep Whiskey for awhile until he's adopted.

:D

Please help Whiskey and Pudding find homes, dears!

Happy 1 Year Work Anniversary - 09 Dec 2014

It's a year! I came into this workplace last year, lost and disoriented. Having to start from scratch (at this age) was painful; I spent 6 months floundering in work, trying at best to keep up with my learning and fit into the company's culture. Now, I still work day to night and overwork, but I identify myself with the operations team's aims and efforts to better the care in the ageing community. 

Overworked. I'm sure you know, from my reduced frequency in occupying the space here. To this day, I grapple with my weakness in prioritising work. The rate at which work is assigned to me is not exponential where it comes to a standstill at its maximum, but is still increasing. I am a procrastinator; Michael who (one of our managers) has gone through a ligament surgery before like me, empathized with me and emphasised the importance of keeping the hope for recovery alive. Yes, he saw the hope I have diminishing day after day and that soon, I will reach despair. Despite his constant nagging and even cajolement sometimes, procrastination sank in deep in following up with my physiotherapy sessions. LOL. I'm just surprised that he hasn't given up, but what do I know? Managers don't give up easily I guess.

So ya, the most likely reason I can't finish my work is that I procrastinate. Also I choose to blame it on my tuition classes and voluntary work. But of course, still, I want to say my workload is excessively high, presently 5 bosses rule my life. 1 operations manager, 1 real geriatrician boss, and 3 of your boss' geriatrician friends. On top of this, you are your Admin Assistant's IT person, your Clinical Educators' aid in giving suggestions for quality improvement, and your other colleagues' hands and legs whenever they organise events.

Well.. Manager said multi-tasking is the best method to learn more things at one go, and helping everyone especially the geriatricians will get me exposure. Future opportunities may just come knocking on their own. Okay then, there was nothing left except faith in his words, that your doctors are worth the effort, time, blood, sweat, and tears.

Haha! And the ranting begins...

You were attending an in-house training course that day, and while waiting for your colleagues at the office, you were propping yourself back on a reclining chair in the rest area, when your good doctor passed by. You said hi, and he smiled and said hi. But your good doctor took a few steps away from you (you were counting the number of steps he took), decided to turn around, and retrace his steps back to you. In your mind, you feel that work is definitely nearing you every second. He laughed (out of guilt) while assigning you something more, "Can you help me do something? I'm stuck at writing the paper for months. You remember last time I told you about this study I have been writing up...? Can you help me finish it?" At that instance, when your good doctor, also your big boss, assigned you work with such humour and humility, you can't possibly say no! I mean, which doctor is so humble to tell you that he's stuck at writing something for months? Lol.

Then you realised that you have to constantly look out for your good doctor, and scampered away at top speed the moment you spot him. 

Because your good doctor is very kind to share your help with his doctor friends, his words were, "Oh ask HJ to help you." Now you have to start escaping from his friends too, even when you can't walk down the stairs without holding on to the railing. 

Your good doctor's friend asked you to come to his office (where all doctors' desks are situated in) to prepare you for the upcoming forum, and your good doctor who saw you meeting with his friend texted you this, "Can you come to my desk, after my friend?"

And after an hour of listening to his friend's big thoughts and ideas, you sat in for your good doctor's lecture dedicated for his new doctor, because he said he's not finished and it's good for you to hear it too. Then he introduced you to his new doctor and told her to look for you if she comes up with any good ideas for a quality improvement research study.

You use Microsoft Access to create a form for him and his friends to enter their diagnosis and treatment plans whenever they tele-consult their patients, and you have to be present in their long consultations, because you have to be completely certain that they know how to use the form. In the meantime, he who loves to teach, asked for your opinions on what treatment he should give to his patient and then teach you how to identify some symptoms and ask you to memorise medical terms. 

Then after a while... You realized that...

It doesn't matter whether you are in a meeting or not, or whether or not you meet a doctor on your way to somewhere. Because you get assigned more tasks all the same.

The day you came back to work after your solemnization break, Manager came to congratulate you, but her other intent was to assign you a task. Yes, You missed a meeting that week, but during that meeting, it was decided that you will be the organiser of an event. You were recovering from shock when you had to be put to the challenge of being the overseer of an upcoming symposium that your good doctor wants to organise. I'm awfully bad at telling people to do things, and Manager really hopes that I can overcome my prolonged fear through this experience.

You told your good doctor that you will be more free after presenting his friend's study at the forum on Friday. And the following Monday morning, after his friend went around telling the doctors you won, you received some msgs from doctors who came forward to congratulate you omg. 
Then of course, your good doctor sent you an email with the subject title "Congrats", and his exact words were:

"Hi HJ, you must be relieved after last week. Congrats! I have ideas for 3 projects. :)" 

Argh, the hidden evilness and 3 arrows beneath that smiley face. In a flash, your intention of idling away your whole week went down the drain.

Then when you went to his desk, his 3 projects became 6, and you regretted asking him so many questions that sparked him off with more ideas. His only available slot was during lunch time, and while he was talking, you were starved, your stomach protesting. But he went on and on, filling your small brain with his big ideas and ignoring your angry stomach. When his good friends came to ask him for lunch, he told them it was your fault; you were talking non-stop and in his way to his good lunch when he was the one talking all the time. -_-"

Your good doctor's friend was very different from your good doctor. While your good doctor is funny and laid-back, his friend is more focused and industrious. He wanted so much for you to win at the forum; he prepared you to perform at your best. He painstakingly edited your deck of slides, discussed the study with you despite how busy he is, anticipating questions from the judges, and made you practiced the speech in front of him. You met him 5 times in two weeks, an hour each time, and he patiently clarified all your doubts.
He also arranged for you to come to the doctors' meeting to practise presenting in front of them, timed you, and made sure you know your stuff. 

Now speaking of the Forum...

That day at the forum, as I explicitly told Evon and all beforehand not to come and watch me embarrass myself, I didn't realise that Evon has extended the invitation to everyone in our department, and almost everyone came! I didn't know that until everyone started commenting in the group chat after my presentation. LOL. 

Right before the start of the competition, Elizabeth saw me fidgeting away in the seat nearest to the stage, and she came to reassure me! Haha! That's why I love nurses! :D

Your good doctor's friend apologised and said he might not be able to reach in time for your presentation, as he has to be one of the judges for the poster presentation just before that. However, he managed to come after all and right after your presentation, he texted, "You have made us all proud! ;)" And of course, not forgetting your whole lovely Geriatrics department who spammed the group chat with so many heartwarming msgs! The colleagues started teasing me for being so informal in answering the judges' questions; I was so nervous that I replied to a question in a way I would reply a friend, "Yea sure, we want to move forward and do an intervention study!"

First slide. :D

First experience standing in front of few hundreds, it was only natural that my mind was blank by then.

The following day was a Saturday and we had to be present for the award presentation. (Boo, I took a cab from my tuition workplace and back.) I sneaked Simba into the forum, so that he can capture some memorable moments for me. Indeed, I had a shock of my life when it was announced, "First prize goes to HJ from Geriatric Medicine". I went up on stage and flashed my usual silly, awkward smile at the CEO.

Then my colleague, Dr Gerlie won the top poster award for the category Physician, having outdone about 10 people. Simba took a photo of her, cos he remembered I mentioned Dr Gerlie in our day-to-day conversations! Good job Simba!

All the presenters for first session!

Then all the presenters :D

But look at what Simba did! Then he blamed me for standing at that position, and that I should have foreseen that where at he was seated, he won't be able to take my picture from his angle!
WHATTTT??

Haha! But what beats the professional photo, taken by the AH Forum's hired photographers.

Unable to contain his shock any longer, Simba blurted out to me right after the award ceremony, "Omg, did they announce wrongly?" What an encouraging hubby, you think???

He exclaimed that I should have told him that I'm getting the top prize so that his jaw wouldn't have reached the ground when my name was announced. I said I really didn't know!


Anyway, your good doctor's friend told everyone that it was purely your effort, and it had absolutely nothing to do with him. WHAT??? 
Then he asked you to be the PI for the study, and he would be glad to be a co-investigator. Eh, wait WHATTTT??

Then it occurred to me that it's never about how "good" you are, it's all about how willing your boss is in coaching and nurturing you, giving you the neccessary support and making sure that you know you aren't on your own. You just need a good boss, and everything else will just fall in place. :D My bosses are just too awesome, I secretly like meeting them cos they are super far-sighted and give excellent insights and really being with them is the fastest paced learning ever. 

The part about overworked; good doctor is getting an intern for me, and his friend got a medical student for me, after they diagnosed me with stress. The hope of having work-life fit will come forth soon!

A group photo of presenters at the symposium 
organised by yours truly.

Here is an abrupt ending to this post with cutesy Teddy.

For this Flag Day, bringing Teddy around to ask for donations is  definitely a right choice!