On the 22th of April, he told me that his surgery was scheduled on 26th April, and I got really worked up. Here is the story:
The endocrinologist at TTSH diagnosed him with Cushing's and followed up with him for the months of Jan to Mar, and prescribed him with medicine to adjust his potassium and cortisol levels. He is a very meticulous person and thus took some time to monitor and analyse his condition, before coming to a main decision at each phase of monitoring. He wanted Simba to have his cortisol level lowered by a great margin before the surgery can be proceeded. The surgery was intended to be done in Mar, but the decision to have him operated shifted to April, and then to June. His reason for the delay was the risk of complications post surgery, one of which was blood clots in the legs as a result of high cortisol level.
His parents got so distressed and impatient, and worry that the more the doctor procrastinate, the tumour has already grown bigger and would trigger more problems in Simba's health, and went ahead to ask for a second opinion from Mount E.
Both the endocrinologist and surgeon at Mount E were assertive in their advice for Simba to be operated soon, without waiting for his cortisol level to be lowered first. If he continues to wait, his symptoms would worsen, and he's going to suffer more from them.
"Better to be safe than to be sorry" was my opinion. The tears just flowed when I advised Simba not to be in a haste on his choice, and to reconsider his parents' and his decision as blood clots in the legs can cause drastic consequences, but in the end, I gave in because I knew I could trust his judgement, and did not hinder his decision to go ahead with the surgery.
Accompanied by his parents and I, Simba went through the administration and got prepared for the surgery on 26th April. He got a little tense during the administration, because of my overwhelming anxiety (They say anxiety is contagious, aren't they so true?), but despite the spontaneous look on my face, I spoke from experience and assured him to trust the surgeon. All that the patient could do then was to cooperate by keeping calm before and post sugery. Basically, I told him that his job was to just sleep and the tumour will be removed on its own. Lol.
After the registration, we followed the nurse to his ward so that he could get ready for the surgery. Here is Simba changed in his surgical robe!
I followed through the whole procedure of his preparation of the surgery before the door of the operating theatre shut on me. Got really emotional while standing outside the waiting room to eavesdrop on the anaesthetist's advice to him about pain management post surgery. Why does he have to go through all this? I then understood why people always say it's your loved ones who hurt the most when you are sick and why the wedding vow includes the part of "love in sickness and in health".
Couldn't really keep my mind in focus at work that day, hence left early and scooted to the hospital with a feeling of being suffocated by emotions on the way.
He was already in the ward (see pic below) when I reached, and looked really exhausted, but greeted me with such lightheartedness that I became so impressed. He pretended to sleep but wriggled his toes and wish me happy birthday occasionally to catch my attention (I was always busy talking to his parents).
Although his parents were really superstitious about taking pictures in a ward, they couldn't quit their habit of taking some especially they came to explore a new place.
His robe was not worn on properly as his parents didn't know how to put it back on for him after showing me his surgical cuts. Lol.
Suaidah, our NTU coursemate, who is working in the hospital as a Biomedical Engineer currently, saw us at the registration area, and came to visit him after his op. :D
Being very familiarised with the ward, she taught Simba to use all the controls at his convenience. Lol. She also demonstrated how to play Angry Birds on Smart TV using the remote! I was so touched that she specially brought over a extravagant gift for Simba the next morning (It was a Saturday morning) when she returned home really late that day because of the visiting.
Joe, Miao and her boyfriend came soon after.
Poor Joe reached early but went to the wrong Mount E and had to take a cab over.
Miao told us to give sad looks when Simba looked so filled with delight. Lol.
Spent the next hour playing Angry Birds. Simba didn't have the energy to talk or stay awake, so I entertained his visitors lol. But I was so apologetic that when he said he wanted to pee and needed privacy I didn't hear it and was still happily chatting with my friends, and that I didn't discover Simba struggling to stay awake until Miao's observant boyfriend told us so. What a "great" girlfriend he has! Lol.
He felt so much better the next day, and regained his appetite. His parents gave me the nod for deciding the menu for the next 2 days, but were so angry when they discovered I chose hamburger as his lunch. Lol! Wait, I can explain... He ate Chinese food the previous day, and the Malay and Indian food involved curry, which were unhealthy too.
The sinful hamburger for a patient who had just undergone a surgery. Look at that oreo cheesecake; I ordered it as his dessert so that I could have it for myself lol.
Colleagues and friends visited and some even wrote Get Well Soon cards. So sweet of them!
Solo picture of the oreo cheesecake before I savoured it.
27th April. My birthday. Simba's parents bought me a small slice of cake and his brother came with a cookies and cream cupcake from Twelve Cupcakes later. Omg. I regretted eating that oreo cheesecake in the first place!
The 2 cakes that I ate with difficulty. Lol.
Birthday girl on the hospital bed. Cute pic with Simba pretending as if there were no occasion, and his brother photobombing.
Simba trying to act suave in his monk-like hospital robe. Lol.
Lol. Miao said Simba was always the background in all the pics he took with me at the ward.
Happy birthday to me!
Simba surprised me when his sec sch friends came into the ward with a cake and a bouquet of flowers singing the birthday song to me. That was the first time I met his friends and they sang a song to me with my name in it ("Happy birthday to hui jin...")! He only walked a small distance from the door to me and stood for a few photos before his wounds hurt and had to get back to bed after that. He also asked his mum to bring his gift for me he bought a week before. Effort appreciated! :D
Three of his long-term friends who helped in the surprise. :D
I only saw this old picture of them before, and thought they are not only similar in their looks, but have similar height and weight (ostracising Simba). Lol.
And girls, these are the 4 best men u are gonna deal with next time. I think they are really nice people, since they endured through the annoying youtube videos Simba showed to them in the ward. Lol. Simba said you can torture them whichever and whatever way u want and they will play along. :D
Mount E's classy food and classy ward.
Thank you friends who have visited. Thanks to my girls and Joe who have showed concern about Jun Wen's progress. :D
Jun Wen has been a undefeatable person; he never complains, never blames anyone or god regardless of how difficult the situation may get. His take on life is admirable; he stays positive and takes things in his stride. He never once showed signs of defeat or despair throughout this period, and tried as best as he could to fight the high levels of cortisol; he abstained from drinking coffee, slept at 11pm everyday, did workouts specially for limbs strengthening, took medicine punctually and switched to a hairfall retaining shampoo.
During the most recent consultation with the surgeon, we learnt that the tumour was completely eradicated and was assessed to be benign. This was such great news!
I guess his positive psychological state accelerated the rate of his recovery. He began with walking short distances on the second day post surgery, and increased these distances at the park. Now at 2 weeks post surgery he can watch Ironman 3 in the theatre and chat over coffee at Starbucks. I read from Google that after the removal of the tumour, the patients return to their original healthy state after half a year of dieting. In fact, I think his face has slimmed down a little now.
Simba. 15 days post surgery. His double chin is gone! Lol.
For a student who studied Biology for many years and couldn't remember a single thing from it, I applauded myself for knowing Cushing's Disease by heart. I was almost registering myself for the support group for Cushing's.
The ordeal is so over. :D
Wishing Simba a speedy recovery!
Cushing's Disease.
The devastating news that came since Feb this year.
Simba was suspected of Cushing's since Jan' 2013, diagnosed with it in Feb and had a CT scan in Mar which confirmed the suspicions of the tumour in his right adrenal gland in Mar.
Typical symptoms of Cushing's are the following:
- Weight gain and fatty tissue deposits, especially around the midsection and upper back, in the face (moon face) and between the shoulders (buffalo hump)
- Pink or purple stretch marks on the skin of the abdomen, thighs and arms
- Thinning, fragile skin that bruises easily
- Slow healing of cuts, insect bites and infections
- Acne
- Muscle weakness
- Brittle bones that can result in osteoporosis
- Diabetes
- High cholesterol
- High blood pressure
- Low potassium
- Balding
Like many others, I dismissed the mere thought of him getting any serious illness and concluded that his weight gain was either due to aging or his desk bound job that prevented him from chances to walk often.
The first indication came when he took studio photos for his graduation in Aug 2011; his face was slightly fatter but overall he looks better, fatter. Then came his IPPT in Sep and he failed Standing Broad Jump, Pull Up and Shuttle Run. (It was quite a surprise since he is usually a gold, and he trains on his own almost everyday.) He told me he experienced muscle weakness and found it hard to run and keep up with his usual exercises. I have never seen him so burned out until the days he went for his Remedial Training (something the Singaporean men have to go for if they fail their IPPT). I remembered he said he really couldn't meet me after these trainings as his muscles really ache so much. I laughed and teased him for aging so quickly as his strength was deteriorating at an exaggerating speed.
The most definitive change I saw in him was the thickening of the area just below chest during CNY last year. As much as he wants to deny, Simba is a very vain person; he does workouts regularly to make sure that his tummy is flat (yes, even slim people have bulging tummies if they don't exercise). At that time I couldn't figure out why he reached a mutual agreement with his mind to let go of his strict exercise routine (but little did I know that he was exercising all the same but still getting fat).
Then he began to lose hair. But his age was the age where men is progressing toward middle age, so I perceived it as normal.
The gradual progression of gaining weight is not worrying any of us, but i told him to go on a diet to lose some tummy fats. Lol! He ate only healthy food since then and went to the gym during lunch breaks. But all these didn't help. Tiny red bruises formed on his arms and legs few hours after he lift weights. And that was when his parents asked him to consult a doctor.
He took a blood test and it indicated low potassium and high cholesterol levels. His blood pressure measured at different times of the days vary from 150 to 180. He had to collect urine for 2 consecutive days; the occasional trips to the washroom at his workplace with the urine collection container started to intrigue his colleagues. It was difficult for him to voice it out to them initially but their acceptance and concern made him feel more comforted later. He also began taking potassium pills and eating bananas daily to keep his potassium level in the healthy range.
The urine test showed elevated levels of cortisol, a stress hormone controlled by the pituitary gland. They were so high that they were out of the detection limit. That was the day I blinked my tears away when the doctor told him that he was diagnosed with Cushing's.
70% of Cushing's was due to the tumour in the pituitary gland, a gland situated at the base of the brain. Although the tumour
is usually benign, the surgery to remove it is of high complexity. Some surgeons removed part of it and it grew back; some removed the whole gland with the tumour altogether. As the tumour grows bigger, it disrupts neighbouring nerves and causes diabetes and heart disease in some patients.
I was crestfallen after gathering these information from google. Most of the times I asked God why He was being so cruel and how could He do this to us. I was never genuinely happy until I met Simba; if anything unfortunate happens to him, my primary source of happiness will be cut off and I will never be able to get on with life anymore. However, as upset as I was, I tried not to display that kind of negativity in front of Simba.
I recently read a book about a man blinded by some intruders at his house. He didn't inform his girlfriend at the initial stage of recovery as he was feeling the worst and didn't want to comfort someone else in spite of his feelings. So yup, didn't want Simba to feel this way too.
I had emotional outbursts as and when, especially whenever I saw the fat deposits on the back of his neck, or the thinning of his skin, or his inability to feel strength.
One of these days, his plan to jog in discreet foiled when his mum found it out. I broke down. It was definitely not being paranoid this time. He could break his bones if he falls from running, but he was never taking the doctor's advice seriously. I chided him harshly, and said I would never talk to him again if he jogs before recovery.
It was later assessed that the tumour was located in his adrenal gland and most likely benign. The uneasiness eased for me since then, as the adrenal tumour is less risky to be removed and hence the high success rate. The surgeon performed a keyhole surgery; 4 incisions followed by cutting off the tumour's blood vessels and flipping the liver to allow space for the machine to eradicate the tumour.
The surgery was scheduled on the 26th April, so this year's birthday was one special day since I spent it teaching tuition and staying in the hospital with Simba.
Do you still remember how pint-sized Simba used to be?
This was taken in feb 2011. He had a really small face.
Jan 2012, Langkawi.
A rounder face, but it wasn't noticeable until u take a closer look.
Feb 2012. Valentines Day.
CNY 2012.
Met up with Carine and Bi Han after so long for Kevin's choir performance and they commented that he put on weight.
Apr 2012.
Bangkok.
May 2012. 4th year anniversary.
Sep 2012. His birthday.
Oct 2012. Legoland.
Nov 2012.
Dec 2012. Christmas.
Jan 2013. Ling's birthday.
Feb 2013.
Apr 2013. Last month. TWG & Gardens by the Bay.
Looking through the photos taken last month at Gardens by the Bay and realising how much he has changed due to the disease made me really emotional. He looked so pale, his arms and legs especially. He used to sit or stand beside me to make me look real fat (see pic below).
(June 2008. My cute boyfriend and I)
Thank you friends for showing concern for us throughout this difficult period. His surgery was a success, and he is recuperating well at home now. His recovery was so rapid; it's like he never had surgery. :)
To be continued.
The month of April is a month full of emotions. It's immersed with tears, anxiety and uneasiness for one matter, but also with elation, excitement and festivity for another.
CS said my life is so dramatic, especially this week.
This birthday I will spend my day in the hospital, and the day after I will be indulging in the joy of Ying's marriage.
Another photo of us at the Flower Dome with the Easter Sunday theme.
It dawned on me that I have to walk out of the misery, not to penetrate myself with sorrow and to think on the positive side.
He's so going to be okay.
Happiness is not a goal. It's a by-product of a life well lived.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Ying's wedding is next week (28th April 2013)! :) :) I'm one of the bridesmaids! :D
I teared when I witnessed Coreen walk down the aisle with a smile filled with bliss and love.
I teared during Chia Liang's wedding when his wife choked back her tears while thanking her parents.
Ying, I try not to tear too much in your wedding ok? Lol.
I was so caught up with so many things going on around me that I forgot that next week is my birthday too! Usually during the month of April, I will be busy shopping to utilise my 20% off birthday specials, or doing everything in high spirits, or otherwise I will be reminding Simba on a daily basis about buying my birthday present.
27th April is always so 普天同庆 for me but so 晴天霹雳 for Simba! Lol.
I will write only short updates for the month of April, since I'm still so busy!
Here's another photo of us at the Cloud Forest, one of the attractions in Gardens by the Bay.
Emotional, emotional, day after day.
I'm sorry friends, I'm not responding to many of you in whatsapp. Hope you understand that I'm going through a really rough patch too.
"Dear, this year my birthday wish is for you to be well. It chose you because you are one in a million. You are my one in millions."
Haven't updated for more than a week, but I will try to keep you posted when something interesting happens or when I have time k?
For the past week, I was at home after work hours planning lessons, editing students' work, plotting graphs, writing up the research manuscript and processing experimental data, leaving me with no time for daily doses of Running Man.
It's perfectly okie for me since I will be soon be an idler after the month of July.
Started on Spirulina (dietary supplement) after having read that it increases muscle strength. I can feel its magical effect on me after taking it for awhile now. Walking has become less of a drag. :D
Photo of us at the state-of-the-art Gardens to show you that I'm still alive. Lol.
"I'll be strong for you, my dear. I'll take tremendous care of you. You will be fine, I'm sure. I believe, God blesses good people. We have so many days ahead of us and I want to spend all of them with you. Let's do whatever it takes to make you better."
Hello guys!
Hope ya enjoyed your long weekend. :)
I was very much occupied by work, both full-time and part-time, but trust me, the thought of blogging has never left my mind. Though sometimes I think I could use some Running Man time to blog. Lol.
I got to know more Koreans in my line of work. Just when I thought that Singaporean kids nowadays are hard to handle, Korean kids are almost the same. The kids are still kids, they are filled with never depleting energy and need someone to exhaust their energy on. Unfortunately I am that someone. Lol. Teaching a class is whole new experience; besides the hectic schedule (continuous teaching from 1pm to 8 30pm) and being pressed for time to finish the curriculum, I still enjoy the challenge of making kids learn in a more relaxed and fun way.
I met some Korean mums and I must say, they are really gentle and nice, so nice you think they come from heavens. Lol. But when it comes to putting their kids through extreme stress, they do their best. Some Korean kids stay in the tuition centre for 5 hours each time they come! And during the school vacations, the kids aren't like the kids here, given time off tuition to enjoy their holiday to the fullest. Instead they are sent to the centre to go through more hours of intensive lessons! Lol. I shall not comment too much on that now, since I think I may be one "Tiger Mother" in time to come!
I found some time during the long weekend to take a breather, since planning lessons for adults took up lesser time after I got used to them, and the workload of my day job lessened this week.
So, Simba and I went to Gardens by the Bay again since his company gave out free tickets to the OCBC Skyway, Flower Dome and Cloud Forest!
Went for lunch at MBS first, and was utterly shocked by the lunch crowd even in exquisite restaurants! Was so filled with disappointment when the waiter of Au Chocolat told us that we had to wait for 45 mins to be seated; we were starving and waiting another 45 minutes would have cost us our lives!
Finally settled down at TWG after some searching. Always wanted to have a taste of their tea!
Since we haven't been actively going on dates lately, we decided to be generous on ordering our food. I ordered a set that comes with scones, main course, tea from the exquisite list and dessert!
Our scones.
It was almost a month since I got acquainted with braces; they were initially stabbing my teeth when I bite but I accommodated to our differences and we are now friends!
His way of expressing his love for tea.
He asked for a recommendation from the waiter on which tea he can order, since he was too lazy to flip through the thick tea menu and fret over which tea to choose from the wide selection.
He made a wise choice as the satisfaction of the waiter's recommendation set in once the tea was served.
I was so attracted to the teapot design; it has a mix of contemporary and antiquated, the gold teapot body looks old-fashioned but the black handle and spout gives it a cool modern touch.
The tea he ordered was Black Tea. I decided to eliminate the risk of getting an unpleasant electrifying shock of ordering a "wrong" tea and ask for a teapot of Creme Brulee Tea!
My main course was a mix of scallop, beef, mango and some tea. Once it was served, a yucky smell came gushing into my senses and I knew it was too late for me to harbour any regret. Lol. I smelled something disgusting from a distance, that's how omg it was.
The scallops are totally raw and being me, I will throw up raw food the moment they get into my mouth. I coaxed myself to forgo the scallops and get started with the pieces of beef but they were quite raw too. Lol.
So.. whenever the girl eats something awful, the plate of food will be automatically transferred to the guy's side of the table. Lol. Simba would always disagree with me even when he did agree with me at some point, so he held the disgusting plate of food in high regard and kept praising the chef who cooked it. Lol.
The mini burgers he ordered were relatively more acceptable, but I do not mean acceptable. Lol. Parts of the burgers tasted like drain. :( He tried some and made a few priceless expressions upon tasting them; I think he can make a living out of performing as a mime artist!
Can't believe we actually spent $100+ to go through such a disastrous torture!
To our relief, the desserts were alright.
Simba chose this for me, since it was the best selling dessert. I was full from being disgusted. However luckily for me Simba found the taste too familiar but just couldn't point out which ingredient it was, and was bent on finding it out. His inquisitive characteristic that held out lent a helping hand in finishing the otherwise wasted food.
I was the one guessing the ingredient right eventually; it was cotton candy.
His raspberry cake.
:D
The rubber bands on my braces are light purple but they were too faint for anyone to notice. Lol. I shall ask for dark purple during my next appointment. :D
And this time we got a picture of the Supertrees when the sun is still out.
:)
Time to unwind!
A getaway with Mum and Younger Bro to Taiwan from 5th to 8th May.
And with Younger Bro to Korea from 24th to 30th May.
Psst... I will be out of work from end June. Finally. Counting down... :D
A few updates to share with ya.
Braces done on 09/03/2013.
Terrifying stories from friends about braces freaked me out, especially those on the feeling of helplessness deep within, like those on "You will gradually think everything is tasteless, since your sense of taste is literally buried by the P-word, Pain."
But mine was bearable. As long as I don't eat, I'm fine. Lol. I mean, I will eat something, but not everything. Biting on anything hurts, I could only swallow for now and risk getting choked. Lol. Once I began my first bite on the Chicken Caesar Salad, I winced. The pain came without warning, and I began to regret. I'm so much like a martyr, someone who suffers for defending his belief, but of course for me I suffer for decimating the crooked smile. Lol, extremely exaggerative!
Brushing hurts too.
What's intriguing was that your lips look more perky; you can't close your mouth in a natural way and your lips look though they have been plumped. :D
Me with metal braces. Pic was taken abit too far, hope you can see the braces enclosing my teeth though.
My orthodontist, Dr K. Koh, used to be Ling's lecturer in Nanyang Poly. It's funny how he asked "When is your wedding?" the moment I asked him how much time it will take for me to deband. Lol.
I would take 2 years to straighten my set of teeth. :D
Two were extracted to make space for two obvious protruding teeth.
Three falls in a week of Feb. My right knee (unoperated knee) has started to weaken so much that it started to partially dislocate. For the first two times, CS caught me and I was unhurt (Totally amazed by his fast reflexes!). However, for the 3rd time, I wasn't so lucky, he wasn't beside me to break my fall and I fell with knees headed straight to the ground. I felt that the injuries were skin-deep but still they gave an uncomfortable burning sensation. The right knee locked. Locking would mean not being able to straighten my leg for some time as my muscles were all so tensed up, and would mean my walking is compromised. Crutches were back to support me. The general doctor is no magician; he could only give me some anti-inflammation meds and said subluxation has no permanent solution other than surgery, or maybe physical therapy.
Agony of defeat. Why can't the right knee wait for awhile longer before it breaks? I just needed it to be fine until the left knee recovers.
Yes, the only reason I could think of was that physical therapy workouts could not be proceeded that few nights as I was still feeling the ache from the last intensive physiotherapy session.
After that unfortunate week, I decided wholeheartedly to never skip a day of workout and to keep that promise until the day I die. My guess was right, no more falls after that. I have to gather back that courage to walk fearlessly again, to walk without looking at the pavement and avoiding all stones, leaves, slopes and stairs, to walk and talk to friends at the same time, and to walk without being conscious about every small step I take.. I dunno how long it's going to take but I know it's still a long road towards recovery.
I will try... I will try hard. I have to learn how to walk.
Love what you are, not hate what you are not.
I'm thankful that the 二十四孝 Simba does all the physical exercises with me daily, eat porridge with me and bought me beancurd as dinner (I refused to have dinner lately as I refused to bear with the pain of biting lol.)
I'm officially a part-time staff in the tuition centre and have started offering some classes to students and beginner adults. Cool!
PH commented that my nephew has a striking resemblance to me to a terrifying extent. Lol.
Here are a few photos of the young me for you to judge:
(Psst Carine, here to keep my promise on showing you these photos. Don't I look the same since young? Lol.)
Have started bullying Dad since young. Lol.
Family photo.
My cousin on the extreme left is my nephew's mum! They said she looked alot like me when she was younger. Does she?
Lol! A total fat male toddler.
