27th nov -




Finally 6 papers are over. Exams are over. I was so embarrassed today! I just cant wait to go toilet after my last paper. But the invigilator said i cant go until they finished counting the papers.








And my face was turning pink. I cant wait till we are dismissed.







And i got an idea.




I awkardly turned to Patrick, my coursemate sitting beside me, pointed to my pencil case, calculator, wallet and hp, and asked very timidly, "erms.. sorry.. Can u help me pass these to jun wen? i need to rush to the toilet after this.."










i wasnt very close to him u see... He gave me a stunning look. Then in the process of passing my belongings, si ying and jasmine tried to kapo my wallet n hp! i had a hard time persuading them tt i am a penniless poor child. haha.










When they reached jun wen's hands, he turned back 45 degrees clockwise from his seat and laughed at me from a distance. His look gave me sth like "Is there a need to be so urgent?!"











I was so lucky. Luckily his surname is 'Tan', not 'Ang' or 'Chan'. And he sits near me. HAHA. (My surname is 'Toh' in case u dunno)













And his hands were too small to bring both pencil cases, two wallets, two hps, two calculators and two exam question papers back to our bags. So he left some on his table and went back to take more the 2nd round.. while i was in the toilet.











And he left his matric card in the exam hall. Oh oh.. he only discovered it when we almost reached JP. The mini guy do have some nice friends! One of his drove back to sch to take it for him.









We both just cant wait to get out of school. Had free coffee at starbucks and watched Madagascar 2.




He was quite tired and he sent me home by 9pm. I finally took my laptop and went to the living room to watch 'xiao liang re' with my parents. Feel so so great!





This time, i studied. i studied much more than i expected. i understood more concepts than the previous 2 study weeks. Although i still couldn't do plenty of exam questions, i felt more satisfaction. Haha.








I went to study with jun wen everyday. Found out tt the best place to study is school. We explored many different places to study. Library.. lounge.. reading room.. study room..










Library is too cold and chairs are hard. We are like insects, no backbone! And our butts hurt after an hr. So we started to love the lounge! Sofa seats! But it is simply too noisy. Then we discovered the reading room. Peace and quiet. And most importantly, sofa seats! And hot coffee machine outside the room!










Because my English was quite bad, i couldn't understand many sentences in the textbook. Jun Wen has to explain them in Chinese for me. Wat's amazing is he could do a sum twice as fast as me and get them all correct. And me? Erms.. i made mistakesall the time and copied his answers. Then learnt from them. i was lazy to redo them. And he could memorise all the bio stuff and never forgets. OMG!!!!!!! HOW COME i've got a smart bf!








i can really admit tt i am so hardworking. Never been so hardworking b4. HAHA. HAOLIAN!






I dunno whether it's me or it's canteen A food. Why do i have diahorrea all the time? I couldnt vomit them out. And i became quite sick.. For days.. many many days. And became sad..Sadder.. Saddest.. One of my greatest fears in life is to be sick if u know me.






But..
BUT..




I was overwhelmed by the amt of msgs i received. "Are u ok?" "u will get well.." etc etc.
And was smiling. i have many friends who care. :) And of cos a bf who is happy everyday (even though he had diahorrea too).










Felicia dropped me a letter in my letterbox. i cried upon reading it.
Despite how tired and busy she was with her attachment, her efforts really touched me.
She told me before.. It is a situation that leads us to more situations which will change our lives and make us stronger and better people.








'No one can go back & make a new start. Anyone can start from now & make a brand new ending. God didn't promise days without pain, lauther without sorrow, sun without rain. But God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears & light for the way.






Disappointments are like road humps. They slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Dont stay on the humps for too long. Move on.








When you feel down becos you didnt get what u want, just sit tight & be happy. Becos God is thinking of something better to give you. When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.'





This really encourages me alot. Yes felicia, there's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.










My uncle's suicide has affected me to some extent i guess. That day he jumped off the building, Daddy, younger bro and i went to his house. I saw how depressed my aunt was. She became mentally unstable and i was pretty scared.










Although i wasn't close to my uncle, i am close to my aunt and my cousin. Seeing the state my aunt is in really broke my heart. I was with them throughout the funeral and lost count of how many times i cried a day.








This was the 1st time i saw my aunts and uncles cried. I guessed becos it was the 1st time their eldest sister appeared weak to them. She screams and lost control of herself. i felt so helpless. I didnt know wat to say or wat to do. i hope my presence was 1 of the reasons they felt comforted.













That night, i slept late. My cousin was really tired and i promised her to watch over her mum. Few times she woke up and asked me whether her mum was still sleeping in her room. i guessed she was imagining things.











I saw how strong my cousin was. She oversee all the funeral arrangements with my uncles. Luckily aunt still have her. i went to stay with them for a week plus. And enjoyed my stay. My cousin didnt dare to sleep alone at night. My aunt still needs sleeping pills. i'm so glad tt their moods became better. Cousin said she would look forward.. And thank God.










Uncle chose to commit suicide becos he was sick. He didnt get well after 2 mths of seeing the doctor. Maybe he was afraid of putting the family to financial crisis. Or maybe the pain in his body was too much for him to bear.










It's been a mth. And i hope they are better now.
:)

18th Nov~

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TING! :)

I'm so glad to have known u in this life! U've been a great great great friend to me. May all your wishes come true! Although i may not be able to see u as often as last time, but just want to let u know that u will always be in my heart. All the best girl!

20th nov ~

My two tuition kids got back their PSLE results.

One got 217. 3 As and 1B. Called me up excitedly to tell me. She was like, "i thought i will get below 200. i really didnt expect that." Her mum was very very happy. i'm happy too.

The other, cute angeline, got 162. 3Cs and 1B. Her mum was very troubled. Cos she cant find a nearby sch for her daughter for Normal Academic stream...... oh oh ...

21st nov~

Today.. i was quite down..

On my way home, i didnt know why i feel the need to look at my phone's drafts messages. And i found this:





10 things i like abt myself:


1. i am happy.
2. i am positive.
3. i can relate well to others.
4. i laugh alot and i have the loudest laughter.
5. i can work hard in my studies.
6. i can bless others with all i have.
7. i am talkative.
8. i am a good listener.
9. i love myself.
10. i smile.






And ya i smile right at the moment i saw i have written.






this was in my phone drafts cos i wanted to mass send my church friends about it late in the night few mths ago i guess. It was too late that night so i didnt want to disturb them. Then i forgot abt it the next day.





i still remb my younger bro tell me.. One of the ten things was he is very handsome. OMG!












Then i decided to tell jun wen. i sms him.






and he replied.. "u been hiding ur troubles huh y i m ur soulmate i always listen......... poor/rich sick/healthy i will stick by u............. It tks more than courage to face it but wat matters is how u tk things in stride. i admire u for being such a brave girl.... Just smile along as days go by, i will always be by your side........"










Mummy kept coming into my room to say 'don cry don cry, tml no sch sleep early. Small thing u also cry, ah yo!!'







and i was still in my room when felicia called me. She is very very happy. Told me how happy she was today. So cute. haha. I have been kind of affected by her. So became happier too.








Then lastly of cos my younger bro came into my room and told me about his attachment. How funny his colleagues were.







Well.. when u feel sad.. it's not the end of the world after all!




:)

Will be busy with sch and exams. Meanwhile.. i uploaded some pics!

Pls visit maggie's blog:



http://www.melodiies.blogspot.com/












Nice photos huh.. Nice clothes too! Visit for great shopping. The model is my fren, Charlene!

And i bought from Kexin cards for children's day.


It was stickers and cards. I decorated it myself. :)


I gave one to jun wen and wish him Happy Children's Day!

Nice right?!

-------------------------------------------------

My bro's bday in church.. He was asked to answer 15 questions. If he didnt get each right, they would draw on his face.

The next osama.. Haha. They drew his brows... his cheeks..

And also his chin.. He has got beard.
Dont be mistaken.. We didnt bully him till he cried. He was very touched that we cried. As emo as me. HAha.

We also went Seoul Garden to celebrate his bdae. Biondi, Elaine, Jia Yun, Maggie and me. The pastamania peeps!

Maggie and Biondi

Jia Yun and maggie

And i took some photos from Elaine's food album.. i got her consent of cos, Dont sue me ah. Sooooo attractive food!

She did them all by herself. Can u believe it? A 18 year old girl can cook, make cookies and desserts. I'm so impressed.

I really really like this...

And this! Chocolates! And i kept persuading her to make them for us to try next time.

Maggie

Maggie!!

Maggie trying to propose to jia yun. And jia yun pretending to feel touched..

-------------------------------------------------

And i saw this on jun wen's house kitchen wall..

We were trying to do our lab assignment when his mum ramdomly asked us to take a photo together. haha.

(His dad bought him a new bicycle on his bdae)

And i took pains to persuade jun wen to let me take a photo of him..

With a cap..

And with a pair of nerd glasses! so retro!

i'm still not sure what lies ahead of me. All i know now is to trust. Trust myself, trust my decisions. I'm still taking one step at a time. I hope one day when i have to make a stand, i will make the right choice.









Meanwhile.. I want to have high hopes. Hoping that i wont be forced to do what i can't bear to do. Hoping that i don't have to live in fear. Hoping for acceptance into people's lives.

Girls, please support Maggie's blogshop

http://melodies-2008.blogspot.com

:)

She partnered with Biondi, Derek and my bro.




Tell your girlfriends abt it. I always like Maggie's choice of clothes. Am sure she will bring to u many many nice clothings. :)







And ya.. my bro may be renting a shop in Bugis Street to sell them. Will update u guys regarding it.











Joanne has left school. She was diagnosed with Hyper Ventilation. I guessed it's due to great stress in school. She was hospitalised for sometime. Now that she is discharged, i pray that she will recover asap. I hope that she will quickly get well and back to her cheerful self.












Ke Xin was also hospitalised. i heard that her skin became yellow and she keeps vomiting. She is extremely pale now. Some toxins got into her liver. Poor girl. Pls get well soon!









And i hope .. i hope that one day i will be fully healed. That i dont have to suffer from all the falls. Each one causes pain and tears. i hope that it will end soon.

It is 2 45am in the morning :) Tml i have got a class at 10 30am. I haven sleep much yest but i m really inspired to write this entry.

Today.. i felt very blessed. Cos i blessed Maggie and Felicia.













I bought 2 clothings from Maggie and made her very happy. She just started out in her business, partnered with my bro, Biondi and Derek to sell online clothes. Biondi and my bro were so excited. They shook my hands excitedly and my bro played a happy tune using his guitar. So cute bunch of ppl.

I called Felicia up. She is studying Hospitality in TP and now doing attachment in Meridian Hotel. She was doing night shift on her own and was afraid. Ya.. u know.. hotels at night are scary. I called her up to find that guests came and she was never alone. Her senior would be joining her later that night.

I thank God for the friends He has given me. I am very touched tonight. Because many things run thru my mind..

Sharon has helped me in my take home quiz. She patiently explained to me how to go abt doing it. I am a slow learner. Alot of things i take plenty of time to understand. i repeat, it is a take home quiz. Which means the marks i got would be 15% of my total results. She could have just said she dunno or brush me off with a brief explanation. But she didnt. She even wanted to leave her answer with me. Without her help, i think i could never figure out where i've gone wrong. Her selfless love for her friends really touched me.

Joanne has fallen ill and hasn't gone for sch for abt 5 days. And when Sharon told me she recorded all the lectures for her and sent her the tutorial answers, i was very touched. The overwhelming feeling, a feeling that really cant contain all my emotions. i wanted to tear but very paisehs, she will tink i am weird.

And i just received her email again. She sent us the photos she took during lab today. We need to do a formal lab report using these photos. i was taking candid shots of my friends doing the lab instead of seriously paying attention to my labwork. HAHA. She took the effort to send the photos to her com and attach them to the mail and sent to us. U know sometimes the internet can be very frustrating? Maybe sometimes when she is uploading the photos, she encountered some problems. Maybe when she attach the photos, she waited a great deal of time just to finish it. But she still continue to send us every info she has. Every time without fail.

God is very nice to me! He brought me a sharing fren. She is very discipline, very generous and very giving. There's so much i can learn from her. i try to reply all her mails, telling her how much i appreciate her effort. I dunno how i can ever repay her.

i was doing my last part of the quiz on the day we have to hand in the quiz. i was thinking.. and thinking.. But i just couln't get the correct ans. That night, it was 8pm when i decided i really need help. i really didnt know who to ask for help. i was quite paisehs to trouble Sharon. So i think.. think.. and i tot of Qi Yuan!

i remembered how helpful he is. He used to send me and bi er his lab reports. i remembered once i didnt know how to go to some part of the sch. And he used the web to search the map of the sch and told my directions till i reach that isolated part of the sch.

I sms him for help. i told him tt i didnt have much time and i dunno how i am going to finish this quiz. And after ten mins, he called and guided me through doing the whole qns. i finally finished it at 11pm and handed in on time.











i thank him for being grateful and helpful. I used to go through some trouble to photocopy notes for him. Like being late for lectures becos of it or going to the library that is pretty far. And i did it for free. i took all my tut answers and printed a whole stack for him.










i realised that the way u treat others, others will treat u back.














Bi Er and Sharon bought a Get Well Soon card for joanne and Bi Er decorated it. Wow, i am so impressed by her effort.












As for jun wen, i remembered many times he delivered food to his hall friends on his way back to hostel. He take away food for them and bring them to their rooms. Once he carried back a lamp and a big mat back for Yu Zhuang. His palms and shoulder were so red when he reached.











The other time he brought me gifts and put them all into his bag. Without complaints, he walked around with me till the end of the day. When he handed them over to me, i realised they were really heavy.












And he hooked up another toy for me from the machine again. His first try. He give me alot of encouragement to go ahead doing wat i really like. When u are set to do sth, dont always tink it's impossible even before doing it. Tink positive, tink that u r able to. And u r able to.













No wonder Jun Wen always tell me that 'Can catch 1, sure can catch 1.' And he caught it.



:)
















Pastor told us that we need to be blessed before we bless others. Wow, i m so blessed. I hope i can be more and more a blesser.









Thanks friends. You guys are people i will never forget.

TUCK WEI! i like your iron man entry. HAHAHA






i got into an accident on 30th of Sept. I was on the way to my tutee's house when my bus kissed the back of a stationary van. The bus jerked to a stop and surprised everyone. i felt myself moving forward and then pulled back by a huge force. i'm alright! That moment i thought it was a BIG engine stall. HAHA.










Got down the bus and saw that the windscreen was shattered into pieces. Wow, this is the 1st time i'm involved in an accident. And i'm glad that it isn't a bad one. i'm so blessed! i love sg! It has traffic rules so that many Singaporeans dont die early. :)













Had my 3 tests this week. Biofluids, Biomolecular Eng & Mechanics of Materials. And 100% buangness! HAHA. Great.. finally more sleep today. i'm getting sick with not enough sleep. But it's okie. Life is full of challenges. i've got to learn to enjoy them!













i realised that my memory is getting from bad to worse. In school, i met many friends i have known before. When they called my name, i just say.. "Hey..!" and after that i spent hours thinking where i knew them from.










PSLE is here. And i am finishing my tutor job for the year. Yeah, more time to rest.. i will really miss cute Angeline!