A pinhole of my life.

Here is the 2nd part of Joanne's Bdae!

Next up is Miao (1st June)

Then Joe (2nd June)

Then Charmaine (16th June)

Then Bi Han (21st June)

Then Daniel (24th June)

All 21st bdae! BANKRUPT!

That day Marlin (My church cell group leader) was advising some things.. Some meaningful that i wrote them down. She said:

Being in a relationship is not easy. You must wake up every morning and feel that your love for him is still fresh. Don't be overfamiliar with him that you lose the respect for him. Don't take things for granted. You must at least have respect for each other. You must not get tired until everyday becomes a routine.

In your journey with God, there are bound to be some things that you will let go. When you make a decision, you can't be sure that u are 100% right. All you need is to trust that God has given you to make this decision.

What you see is what you receive. You can't assume that he will change after marriage.

In life, God will put you through several temptations and tests. It's not that u both don't love each other. Both of you have tried. It's the not the matter of feeling used to him. It is not the matter of time that determines this relationship. You have changed and he has changed too.

Are you really happy with him? Is he really there all the time? Does he really love you all the time? If he said he will be there, but is he? Does he give you enough security and assurance?

When you have nothing, you must trust that you still have God. Believe that you have God and you will have everything. Pray and all will turn out well.

Make a decision and don't look back anymore. Trust that God will help u overcome it.

i said, "But i am so afraid, afraid that if i let go, i can never find another guy as good as him, or better than him anymore."

She replied, "How can you think it this way? No, u need to have confidence in yourself. Most guys like girls with confidence. U know, i used to ask Ming Yao (her husband) why he chose me over so many girls. There are many who have nicer complexion than me, prettier than me and have better capabilities than me. But he said because i have confidence. A confidence woman makes her attractive.

You need to open up your heart and give yourself and someone else a chance. Have confidence that God will make you happier. Discover His plan for u and you will definitely feel happier.''

When you said you have nothing, u are wrong. U still have God. And u still have your friends, friends who care so much for you. You have won over the hearts of many friends. You are not alone.

She prayed for me. i cried and Ke Xin hugged me. Thanks Ke Xin.

That night around 2am, i had a terrible stomachache. Then fever. i couldn't sleep. i wanted so much to call Wei Der up. Wanted to tell him to bring me to the doctor and how terrible i feel. i know the call will definitely make him take leave the next day and also skip school. But i resist the urge. i can't be so selfish, so self centered. We have already broken up.

Marlin said i still have my friends. So i sent out an SOS msg. i forwarded out a forward msg to some of my close friends. If 1 replied to tell me to get well soon, i will get well. i trust God that i will get well.

Sure enough, one of them replied in a few mins. And i did manage to sleep. As long as u have faith, God will make you happy. And Ying replied the following day with another forwarded msg. :P

Sometimes i feel like msging him. When i hold the urge, i feel like crying. Something hit me. An angel spoke to me. When u miss him, pray for him. Pray that he will have a better life without u. Pray that he can get over you too.

Xue said God will bless me. God can speak to me in different ways. One of them is through friends. Thanks Xue. U are sent by God to tell me the right thing at the right time.

Thanks Ling and Ying too. Love ya girls.

Thanks Jun Wen.

U guys are always there.

:)