A pinhole of my life.: 2014, the best year yet.

Ontology.

A night class on it today made me more confused; it presents to me as a queer notion; I was like WHATTT the heck is he trying to convey to me? Make it more layman please.

It's too artistic and abstract for me, but as much as I want to deny, some parts of me felt strangely inspired.:)

You must be thinking why was I there when I couldn't comprehend it? You are right; I was asked very politely by my manager to go on her behalf. Belonging to the "humji" gang of my department, I acceded to her request immediately. And now I am going to have so much trouble explaining the theories to her. God bless.

2015.

How's your 2014?

Is it the one of best years you've ever had for years?

Can't believe my best year, 2014, ended.

2014, a turning point in my life...

In a new job, I found back my life.

Things definitely took a turn for the better. :)

I guess, when things didn't fall in the right place in 2013, I became truly grateful for 2014.

I began to pay more attention to detail.

- Why was I so unhappy in 2013?

I guess, first and foremost, I need someone who can direct me, someone whom I can genuinely respect. I need a good leader, who can see beyond my non-talents, focus more on my talents, and widen my perspective on looking at things, and most importantly to be far-sighted.

The good doctor is my leader. He is a good doctor.

Under his wings, I learnt far more than the accumulation of what I have in learnt in school. No joke.

The good doctor has not just empathy, but is compassionate. Empathy is just putting yourself in another's shoes, but compassion is something more; it's a strong desire to alleviate the suffering of the other.

Having experienced the complexity of Singapore's healthcare system and feeling absolutely helpless about how detached a doctor or a physiotherapist can be about your pain, I don't blame myself for feeling downright disappointed.

Since then, I have been skeptical about doctors; compassion, in my perspective, had died together with Florence Nightingale.

The surgeon who operated on me couldn't wait to show his medical students about my rare case of patellar subluxation. He treated me as a research subject; he was practically smiling widely (definitely alot wider than when he spoke to me) as he just lifted and bent my knee several times just to show how unique the movement of my knee cap was. He has never smiled to me before, yet he smiled to my knee. How ridiculous.

Whatever happened to individualized care? I don't think any of these is compassion fatigue, since there was none in the first place.

He has never acknowledged and greeted my dad before even though he accompanied me for all consultations.

There was a high turnover rate for the physiotherapists in the hospital; I found myself getting different advice from a new therapist each time; there was no attempt to reconcile their head knowledge. How can you expect me to be compliant to the exercises they suggest (that didn't work because they apply the same method to every patient)?

Targeted and individualised approach to caring for a patient - why didn't people understand this?

I don't blame laypersons for not understanding my pain, and my knee that is so numb all the time. I don't blame them for not understanding why I didn't get better, and my fear of falling every moment I walked. Every time I walked, it's dangerous; I feel so unstable and I watched out for any stone, even the tiniest one that could potentially result in a fall.

But shouldn't you as a healthcare professional try to understand this?

Shouldn't you as a hospital have a more logical layout? Reprinting a discharge summary made me walk from block to block, and each counter staff passed the buck to another department's staff, and the patient became the victim as a result. Limping from one end to the other of the hospital and increasing the potential risk of a fall.

From the good doctor, I learnt what it means to be the true healer of society. His intrinsic motivation was evident; it wasn't to be highly paid and sit there while commanding others to do things. It was merely a desire to do more for the vulnerable elderly. While other doctors abuse their authority in using the nurses as a tool to vent their anger, he always listens to the woes of his staff and he never judges. He knows the hierarchical structure is never going to work; reinforcing authority and creating an intimidating work environment will only result in negatives like high staff turnover.

He is one of the main persons who has resulted in a paradigm shift by creating a friendly work culture and imparting his values on.

The mini doctor, his understudy, said this to me one day, "Basically you do whatever he does, cos he's so nice it's so hard to reject him."

So true!

He is a inspiration, and specifically my inspiration.

He made a working diagnosis on me - the cause of my limp could be I may have a shorter leg than the other after the op.

"Go, go see my friend (the orthopaedic surgeon), and everything will be alright." - That is, after he told me that his friend may do a corrective surgery on me.

-_-"

This was the assurance I didn't receive from the surgeon who operated on me.

Well, secondly. I need colleagues who think like me. Evon, Iris and Michelle have been the funniest people; with their nonsense they can crack even the toughest being up! Although they are the sole culprits for my recent sudden surge in weight, I still say I'm so blessed to have them.

All they ever want in life is to get married. They are so me right? We fitted wedding gowns together, just for the fun of it.

Humourous people are my type of people, and I'm grateful that the good doctor and my colleagues possess my kind of humour.

Third I needed to do something more to make me happier; perhaps something that could distract me from my main work. The past workplace has left me vulnerable; my non talents were focused on and exposed. Insecurities came. Finger pointing and criticism were everywhere; I could literally see them fly across rooms. I became defensive and demoralized. It was hard surviving my first job. I always wonder what should be the best way for an organization to prosper; I didn't know the answer back then, but all I can be sure is that the last workplace is not doing it right. It doesn't have the abundance mindset.

Strangely, the negative emotions didn't settle at the workplace. Instead they came on stronger for Simba's then disease.

Yogi, the most zen dog!

Yoshi and Yogi are one!

My favorite SOSD dog, Chivas, which was adopted within 2 months. Why u no wait for me and my new house?

Canning.

Animal-Assisted Activities - Using animals to bring care to people. I think it really worked for me. The healing process started and is still continuing to manifest in me. I'm deeply grateful that by random I chose a organization with standardized processes to work in. An organization which consists of animal activists but does not lose its logical thinking.;)

I spent most of the days in 2013 belittling and cursing myself, for everything that went wrong. And there were many that went wrong altogether.

BUT... Everything in 2014 went right.

Fourth, in 2014, I got married.

Here we were at ROM to collect the certs to sign on for our coming solemnization event, and about to vow that we are above the age of 21 and were not drunken married in Las Vegas to someone else before. Lol.

With the typical, typical backdrop.

Many families came with the couple, which gave the advantage having their photos taken here by their parents/siblings.

We came by ourselves but a man whom we chose to help us with the photograph, self-proclaimed that we chose the right person. He said he is an expert. U think so?

Dress is the bridesmaid dress I have for the girls, except that mine is champagne. They say he looks like some Korean star lol. :D

My red shoes are from Rock Star, everything from Rock Star is so pretty! Oh wait, it's Melissa shoes lol.

We brought the camera and the tripod to be our own photographer.:)

We looked like we lived in the 60s, with the faded photograph and his 60s' dressing.

More ROM photos:

(I'm not quite done the last time, remember?)

Decorative flowers bought from IKEA.:)

Girls writing down their wishes for us.:)

The walk-in with the lion king song "Can you feel the love tonight?"

Wei Liang, Simba's BFF said he wanted to play this song on his coming wedding but we stole his idea! Too bad our wedding came first and it was last minute that I thought of this song to play.

When the solemnizer asked us to express our gratitude to our parents in a form of words or a hug. And of course as Asians who don't express our love for parent outright, we chose a hug. :)

That was when tears came.

Awesomeness from the solemnizer, cos his words have made us reflect and think about our unspoken love for our parents.

Verdict on our beloved solemnizer: 5/5

Everyone likes him, including our photographers who have been to so many weddings.

Haha my dad looking awkward.

My mum. Haha she looks so emotional! She was actually. I saw her eyes turn red as soon as my face cringed. My brothers also cried, not surprisingly. Whenever I cry, my younger bro will cry too. He's like a tap; runs in the family.

Nice candid. Solemnizer speaking to us but Simba making weird faces in the background.

Elder bro and his GF.

When it's time to say the vows.

I wasn't thinking; it was nerve wrecking I tell you. Whether it was 35 people or 500, it really didn't matter I was overwhelmed all the same.

Haha caught Si Ting taking photos!

Before the wedding, the solemnizer Mr Lau Tat Chuan invited us over to his place to get to know more about us - a little bit more on how we met, how we got together, and who made the first move. And he also demonstrated what we should do while reciting the vows. I should slip the ring halfway into his finger and hold his other hand. Haha got Simba to practise it with me few days before the big day.

Thank goodness I did my gelish manicure haha

"Although Jun Wen, you don't speak much, but you certainly write well." - his comments after exchange of vows.

Zhi Quan and Wei Liang fell deeply in love with him and his vows. They asked him for some tips to use when they write their own vows. Lol. Zhi Quan knew he must have googled them and put together a vow formed from several websites.