A 3-day course on ontological coaching last week has begun to work its influence on me, slowly but surely. It's like sorcery I can't believe it; the beauty of it lies in its ability to change you even when you weren't able to fully comprehend the topic. Hey, in my defense, some form of art is just too abstract for me, like for most people I guess.
I promised to do the course with an open mind but just can't help feeling sceptical about it. You ask me to learn something that isn't structured and relies mostly on intuition? Eh WHATTT?
Well, ontology is a field of study largely associated with philosophy. Yes, boss asked us to go for it, in the hope that we learn how to manage people and align their behaviors towards the organizational goals. Ehhh.. In the end, it taught us self-discovery, which means that we benefitted from the course on a personal level instead. Guess before we can try to change someone's behavior and habits, we have to change ours first. Makes sense? Change starts from within.
If I'm not wrong, it uses the technique of empathy. You really got to listen very hard before you try to understand others' plight. You need to put yourself in another's shoes.
In relationships, there's a lot of listening and situational awareness to be done. Now being aware, I wonder how many times I unintentionally neglected Simba's suggestions for me to lead a better life. Lol.
"In you, I see a lot of healing to be done. The feelings of fear and enthusiasm are actually the same - the tightened chest, the pounding heart, the weakened calves - it's the story behind that's different."
Eh? Me?
The coach seemed to see through my thoughts and emotions after 3 days. Omg I feel so vulnerable.
I always see myself as someone who has this burning desire to relentlessly pursue happiness. I didn't know why until maybe after what the coach said to me. Perhaps, there's this sad soul that's dwelling in me all along.
After some activities we did... Pne of the coach's assistant told me this:
"Your knee problem seems to have affected a lot of you. You let your knee determine that you have been weak... It seems to have affected a lot of your self-esteem."
"From what I have heard from you, others around you have been accepting towards you - your husband, your parents... But my question to you is, have you been accepting others into your life?"
"Perhaps there's this confidence in you that you refused to let out."
Oh wow. Scaryyy isn't it. People can read you within days. And the amazing thing is, you have been so buried in your own thoughts and stuck in your own perceptions that you didn't even realize that you are living your misery out loud. One day, some random person tells you that you have been living your life wrong and your perception of the world is twisted.
Yes, sadly, there is no more room for accepting anyone else in my life. I don't know when I stop doing that. I didn't hold any expectations on people in general anymore. That's why there's no suffering, if people let me down. Perhaps some bad experience with people in primary school has caused the damage and it has stayed on in my memory for years and entirely destroyed my hope in people. It will continue to blossom in me until I come to terms with myself (according to the coach). Maybe that's why I don't hesitate to lose some friends along the way in life when their thinking is really too far off from mine. You know, he said what shaped you to be who you are today is what your childhood has done to you. Yes I guess so.
It was weird that one of Simba's suggestions suddenly resonated in my head. He had said several times to buy a pair of new working shoes as my current pair (which cost me more than usual) was going to spoil, but I wasn't really listening each time he said it. I was so fixed in my head that the current pair was the most suitable and comfortable for my walking and I won't replace it unless it spoils. I threw away the pair and put on a new pair, and the feeling was great! My past shoes which have contorted out of shape have been the cause of my limp,and I just couldn't register this in my head.
Haha. I guess being aware of self now, I'll see life differently.
A place we can call home.
His parents came along, and brought some pineapple to roll across the living room and rice to sprinkle around the edges of the house.
Aunt was there too, since Cousin and Aunt, my future neighbor, were getting their keys on the same day as us.;)
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The empty living that leads to the balcony
Bedroom 1
View from bedroom
Our wardrobe that was described as "awkward" and "ugly" by our interior designer. Haha.
Fervent followers of the Chinese tradition. Oh well, I'm not exactly someone who believes in this kind of thing, but as Chinese, it's this instinctive nature in us to be superstitious.
Kitchen where most works are already done.
Stove which I might never get the chance to use. Haha.
The meticulous Simba marked down where each defect was at, no matter how small it was.
My colleague, Lynn, took selfies with her hubby at every corner of the house, when they first got their keys. Iris told me to copycat her. Lol. Only managed to do it in one room when his parents weren't looking though. :D
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