i just had my 2nd lesson in the driving circuit. Driving in circuit is something like controlling your car in narrow roads, not mounting any kerbs. I freaked out! My driving test is approaching.. i really dunno how to face that very day.
Why do happy things tend to always be forgotten by me easily? Why am i busily thinking of this thing when happier things are all around me? Everyday i've thinking how to improve myself in the lessons. i think i am going crazy!
All i know is i regretted taking them. i had the feeling of giving up again. i wanted so much to quit. i kept crying to wei der that there's no way back. I am only left with 1 choice: Either i kept trying to get my driving license or i kept trying to get it.
i kept on thinking.. why do i need a driving license for? i may not even afford a car in the future. And even if i can, i can depend on wei der to drive me to work or some other places. He is already an experienced driver for 5 years.. And i don't feel my life being in danger when he drove me around.. Wat am i thinking of when i want my driving license? My senses are not fit for getting a license.
Wei der said to me...
'Not everyone is lucky all the time. U have been lucky all the way in your poly days. Getting through tests.. examss.. projects.. It seemed like these 3 years u have just breezed through them.. God is fair.. Everyone will have their strengths and weaknesses.. All u need to do now is to overcome your fear and weakness.. Don't make it such that the higher u climb, the more u are afraid of falling down. it should be 'yue zhan yue yong.'
BUt...
i tend to have this illness of remembering sad things more than happy things better. Selective memory! Until i got through the ordeal then i recalled my happy moments. Is there any treatment for having selective memory?
YUPS.. i tried.. i really tried hard.. i took my instructor's words seriously and tried to make changes to my bad habits.. BUt he cant see it..
Deep down in my heart i know i am too far from the test standards. There're only 5 slots left for me. i dunno how to learn fast enough to pass my test. i know i'm not up to it. All of my confidence i used to have is lost.. Should i delay my test date? .. i wanted to.. but i think my instructor won't allow.. haiss..
And .. my blog is only for people who wish me well.. For those people who doesnt, please get out of my life!
Just received a good news through msn.. Ivan got into NUS: Electrical Engineering! His 1st choice! :)
And i've been busy helping wei der with his online shopping blogsite. Now i get to apply my knowledge on being a blogger and html + java skills which i learn in my poly days on something!
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