My 2013 Resolutions

Hi dears,

What are your resolutions this year? :)

Wanna proclaim mine by first telling you a summary about my 2012.

I used to only write posts that are happy but as I got older I felt that being truthful to myself, not deceiving myself that I am happy, is also a kind of happy.

My 2012 was bad.

Yes, the severe fall and subsequent repeated falls due to kneecap instability are what made up the most part.

But of course, the physical pain is always more bearable than the emotional one that greatly affects the self-esteem.

Do you sometimes think you should altogether stop being nice? Cos people hurt one another and you even though you try hard to love and accept everyone as who they are.

You are so fat and sorry I have to use the word, fugly, that you scare the hell out of them so they inevitably detest you and gang up to verbally attack you all the time. Your self-esteem is so badly beaten that it has hit the rock bottom, no I mean the bottomless pit. 最后剩下的只有遍体鳞伤。The society is not meant for weaklings like me, so I very much want to hide at home sheltered from the harms the world could bring, which is most of the reason why I just want to be a dutiful wife and wonderful mum and enjoy the simple things of life.

People put you down. People hate your skin. People hate that you are fat. People hate your hair. No they hate everything about you. You don’t understand why they treat you this way, why they are so critical over how you look, when you tried your best to be their friend. But you must know that kindness is at times not reciprocal. People only see the speck of dust in your eye but not see theirs. As much as you want everyone to like you and accept you for who you are, a few still detest you.

I could only run back in tears to Simba and be in the comfort of his words. I wanna quit these asap but why am I still thinking of others before me so much so that I have to live in misery for another few more months?

Dear Simba, I want to be like you. I want to be as kind as you, as nice as you, as forgiving as you and as beautiful as you but I’m sorry I can’t. Ultimately I’m not you. :(

So the year of 2013 is a brand new year and a significant one cos it’s the year I decide wholeheartedly to love myself more.

2013 will start with this first and most important resolution: Love only the right people. This resolution was quoted from blogger PXDKitty. Here are two of her encouraging posts you can read: To only love the right people and Everything happens for a reason.

She also said these,

“People who matter don’t mind, people who mind don’t matter.” (I don’t know who came up with this quote but it is so inspiring and comforting. I should really live by this.)

“You will meet a lot of wrong people in life so that when you meet the right ones, you can appreciate them better.”

Second resolution: To do everything and anything for my knee to not suffer another dislocation.

Third resolution: To do something I enjoy. To choose a job I like, not to accept one in a haste and regret later.

And lastly, Fourth resolution: Work is secondary. Kinship, worthy friendships and Simba are primary. 

Oh oh one more before I forget: Wear less make-up. Use the right skincare products. :D

Thanks dears for listening, tears have dried up on my face now (disgusting I know lol). Friends, if you are also suffering from low self-esteem, I know it's hard to love yourself knowing by heart all your flaws but you just have to start trying. You could love yourself more. I love you, so please start now.